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sex

Health, Inspiration, Lifestyle, Slider

Happy sex life, happy relationship

August 26, 2016

By now everyone’s heard the story about Maraget Van Wyk. The mom who texted a raunchy photo of her you-know-what- down-there, intended only for her husband’s enjoyment according to reports, but was instead sent to a group of parents on her whatsapp called  #hokkieouers. What’s worse, this group includes the parents of her daughter’s hockey team. Ouch.

I cannot say that this has ever happened to me during any of my raunchy rendezvous, but I can imagine her humiliation. Not only was the flaming image sent to the wrong group, it also caused a riot on the internet when it almost immediately went viral. I almost want to hug this poor woman. Luckily most people commended Margaret for keeping the fire in her relationship alive, while others warned to double check the recipient before sending private whatsapp messages.

It was a bad thing that happened to a good woman with the right idea. Just not the right audience.

Fabmom is however inspired by this story. I am all for re-igniting a dead flame and spicing things up in the bedroom, besides this is the stuff successful marriages are made of. So yay Margeret!

“I don’t always dress up, but I make sure I always look nice. You don’t have to be dressed up to look nice. Although I do it for myself because it makes ME feel good, I also love seeing the reaction on my husband’s face when he realises for the gazillionth time what a gorgeous woman he’s married to.”

The very existence of this blog is to support all women and moms just like her.

Thankfully we have better ideas of going about doing so. Although letting your inhibitions out and into an innocent text message to hubby is great, with the cyberworld being so crowded, it’s not always the safest option.

There’s a scary, but, in most instances true fact that after the kids arrive, sex basically goes out the door. And it’s not so much because we don’t want to do it anymore, but kids literally take up most of our time. Especially us moms. We are the comforter when they’re sore, the doc when they’re sick, the teacher, the cook, the referee, the taxi, the cleaner (of house and kids). Oh, and then, for most of us there’s our day job too, and for me, blogging, which is in itself another job. Imagine working three jobs in 24 hours.

It’s insane and it makes complete sense that we’re so exhausted at the end of the day. To be honest, all I want to do when the kids’ lights go off at eight every  night is to do absolutely nothing. Not even think. In fact I may need to hire someone just to take off my make-up and put on my pj’s.

Yes, I wear make-up. I don’t always dress up, but I make sure I always look nice. You don’t have to be dressed up to look nice. Although I do it for myself because it makes ME feel good, I also love seeing the reaction on my husband’s face when he realises for the gazillionth time what a gorgeous woman he’s married to.

Men are men. Always has been, Always will be. They feel with their eyes. Believe me, if you take care of yourself and make sure you put on something sexy for him every now and then, he is going to see it. For us moms, and everyone else for that matter, it’s really not about having the time, but making the time. So make the time girl! Live, love and laugh!

Us mommies understand why we let go a little (or allot) of ourselves when the kids come along. It’s okay to take some time out, as often as you must, but be careful to never lose yourself so completely that you no longer surprise and literally wow the pants off your husband. These are after all, what broken relationships are made of.

If you need someone to confide in anonymously, or just need advise, I recommend you go visit a sex boutique. I have quite a selection of the best recommended in SA on my blog post here.

I recently visited one of them and wrote a lovely review on The bedroom. I was blown away to say the least. Nicky spent more than an hour of her time taking me through the entire shop detailing every single item they have for sale. All of which the sole purpose is to bring you maximum pleasure and excitement and to help spice things up in the relationship.

Whatever your ideas to keep the energy alive in the bedroom, I say keep it up, it might save your relationship. I would love to hear your ideas, so do share.

The daily telegraph shares the following tips with us:

For lasting sexual intimacy you need to keep talking, communicating your changing needs and finding new ways of caring for each other and giving pleasure.

Good health is also vital to an active sex life. Keeping fit, not putting on weight and avoiding smoking helps keeps the juices flowing.

Men — if your equipment starts to fail, talk to your doctor. This health warning needs checking out to protect you from future heart attacks and strokes. Plus there are good treatments to help restore your sexual functioning.

Women — there’s plenty you can do protect the ageing vagina and avoid painful sex.

This includes visiting a professional sex boutique 😉

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Always keep the spark alive! Xx

Entertainment, Health, Lifestyle, Slider

50 Shades of Sensuality

February 17, 2015

In anticipation to the release of the popular R rated movie, Fifty shades of grey, I decided to visit an actual sex store and find out first-hand what all the hype was really about. With hype I mean secrecy, whispers, shame and embarrassment. But not before dragging my very conservative colleague with me of cause! So I parked the car at a convenient spot in Town and set off by foot on this very important mission.

The idea was to walk into the store as a married mother of 4, which I am, and pretend to have grown tired of ‘the way things are done in the bedroom’, which I’m not, but hey!  It needed to be done for my fellow fabmoms out there.  Because sadly, boredom in the bedroom is as much of a reality as going into a sex shop feels awkward! But I was about to change all that.

having forgotten it’s Friday the 13th,  we noticed heavy clouds gather above us, and as a coloured, my first panic stricken thought was that I just did my hair the day before and if it started raining now, not only do I have nothing to cover them with, but they looks god awful when wet. It all kept getting worse from then on.

After reaching our destination 15 minutes later, I discovered the shop (or rather exclusive boutique) I was targeting, was in fact an online store and alternative arrangements had to be made, quickly.  So while contemplating over a cup of coffee at a quaint little coffee bar on St John’s, we were pointed in the direction of Adult world not too far from there.

By the time we left the bar the clouds above had become increasingly darker and heavier and before I could say ”crap! “It started to rain. Feeling extremely frustrated with myself, firstly, for not finding the place I came here for and now having my hair turn to ‘mince’, we finally reached the black windowed, red taped shop.

What greeted us inside is everything I thought a sex shop should not be. Rows and rows of shelves filled with cheap DVD’s in a cramped little room with very little sex toys, most of which looked plastic. How anyone would want to put any of these inside their bodies, is beyond me. We lingered a while longer in the hopes of getting assisted and when the ‘assistants’ behind the counter continued their obviously much more important conversation, we left.

It was the premier of 50 shades of Grey that night and I had not reached my objective to commemorate the movie and provide you fabmoms with some “valuable insight”  about the sex toy industry. By now it was pouring outside and we had about 20 minutes of walking to do before we
reached the car. While I felt defeated, my gorgeous  Indian friend, with the long luscious locks, which looks even more luscious when wet, cheered merily about how much fun this was and that I shouldn’t be disheartened because we were making awesome memories “something to tell the kids one day”, she said. This, of cause, would be one of the things I’d warn my kids never to do.

But my sulking came to an abrupt end when an idea hit me while in the shower. I realised that my experience that day was exactly the lesson I needed to learn and one I could share with other women, girls and moms. It occurred to me just how important it is for sex shops and boutique owners and their assistants alike to practice considerable sensitivity when it comes to their customers. First of all, It takes a butt load of courage for a woman, or a man, to enter one of these stores and when we do, the very least we expect is a friendly face and a helpful word.

So to save myself from making the same mistake and boldly waltz into the first one I come across, I made a list of recommended and reputable sex stores (or rather sensual boutiques as I like to call them) in South Africa. Why don’t you try them out and tell me about your experience. I guarantee you it will be something.

 

 

 

  1. Angie’s Attic

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If you’re into dress-up and role play then Angie’s attic is just the place for you. It’s women friendly and the owner Angie Ford is always up for a friendly chat and sound advice.

Address: 15 Arthur’s Road, Sea Point, Cape Town, 8060

Chat to Angie on 021 434 3933.

 

  1. Miss Behaviour

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Miss Behaviour also hosts sex toy parties for you and your girl friends. Not only are these fun, but they are educational too. Parties can be arranged in Cape Town, Johannesburg and Durban.

Contact them on 083 542 2214 between 9am and 4pm.

 

  1. The Bedroom

Inner Goddess

Ladies can sit on the couch and read a book, or start exploring lingerie before moving deeper into the more ‘hard-core’ areas. The idea is that they can go as far along the journey as they are comfortable with.” Check out their 50 Shades of Grey collection here

Visit The Bedroom now also open on Buitengragt Cape Town: (021) 422 0307

 

  1. Bella Rouge

pole-dancing_2961465bThis boutique was designed with a more mainstream audience in mind. Sporting sexy lingerie up front. But, like The Bedroom, as you go further into the shop “the naughtier it gets”and there is a little nook of sex toys and lubricants at the back.

Phone: 0860 23 55 27

 

 

5. Dr. Eve

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The hub, based in Sea Point, consists of her practice, an events centre and a store for sexual health aids and toys.

Phone: 021 439 4004

Keep the flame alive fabmoms xx