By now everyone’s heard the story about Maraget Van Wyk. The mom who texted a raunchy photo of her you-know-what- down-there, intended only for her husband’s enjoyment according to reports, but was instead sent to a group of parents on her whatsapp called #hokkieouers. What’s worse, this group includes the parents of her daughter’s hockey team. Ouch.
I cannot say that this has ever happened to me during any of my raunchy rendezvous, but I can imagine her humiliation. Not only was the flaming image sent to the wrong group, it also caused a riot on the internet when it almost immediately went viral. I almost want to hug this poor woman. Luckily most people commended Margaret for keeping the fire in her relationship alive, while others warned to double check the recipient before sending private whatsapp messages.
It was a bad thing that happened to a good woman with the right idea. Just not the right audience.
Fabmom is however inspired by this story. I am all for re-igniting a dead flame and spicing things up in the bedroom, besides this is the stuff successful marriages are made of. So yay Margeret!
“I don’t always dress up, but I make sure I always look nice. You don’t have to be dressed up to look nice. Although I do it for myself because it makes ME feel good, I also love seeing the reaction on my husband’s face when he realises for the gazillionth time what a gorgeous woman he’s married to.”
The very existence of this blog is to support all women and moms just like her.
Thankfully we have better ideas of going about doing so. Although letting your inhibitions out and into an innocent text message to hubby is great, with the cyberworld being so crowded, it’s not always the safest option.
There’s a scary, but, in most instances true fact that after the kids arrive, sex basically goes out the door. And it’s not so much because we don’t want to do it anymore, but kids literally take up most of our time. Especially us moms. We are the comforter when they’re sore, the doc when they’re sick, the teacher, the cook, the referee, the taxi, the cleaner (of house and kids). Oh, and then, for most of us there’s our day job too, and for me, blogging, which is in itself another job. Imagine working three jobs in 24 hours.
It’s insane and it makes complete sense that we’re so exhausted at the end of the day. To be honest, all I want to do when the kids’ lights go off at eight every night is to do absolutely nothing. Not even think. In fact I may need to hire someone just to take off my make-up and put on my pj’s.
Yes, I wear make-up. I don’t always dress up, but I make sure I always look nice. You don’t have to be dressed up to look nice. Although I do it for myself because it makes ME feel good, I also love seeing the reaction on my husband’s face when he realises for the gazillionth time what a gorgeous woman he’s married to.
Men are men. Always has been, Always will be. They feel with their eyes. Believe me, if you take care of yourself and make sure you put on something sexy for him every now and then, he is going to see it. For us moms, and everyone else for that matter, it’s really not about having the time, but making the time. So make the time girl! Live, love and laugh!
Us mommies understand why we let go a little (or allot) of ourselves when the kids come along. It’s okay to take some time out, as often as you must, but be careful to never lose yourself so completely that you no longer surprise and literally wow the pants off your husband. These are after all, what broken relationships are made of.
If you need someone to confide in anonymously, or just need advise, I recommend you go visit a sex boutique. I have quite a selection of the best recommended in SA on my blog post here.
I recently visited one of them and wrote a lovely review on The bedroom. I was blown away to say the least. Nicky spent more than an hour of her time taking me through the entire shop detailing every single item they have for sale. All of which the sole purpose is to bring you maximum pleasure and excitement and to help spice things up in the relationship.
Whatever your ideas to keep the energy alive in the bedroom, I say keep it up, it might save your relationship. I would love to hear your ideas, so do share.
For lasting sexual intimacy you need to keep talking, communicating your changing needs and finding new ways of caring for each other and giving pleasure.
Good health is also vital to an active sex life. Keeping fit, not putting on weight and avoiding smoking helps keeps the juices flowing.
Men — if your equipment starts to fail, talk to your doctor. This health warning needs checking out to protect you from future heart attacks and strokes. Plus there are good treatments to help restore your sexual functioning.
Women — there’s plenty you can do protect the ageing vagina and avoid painful sex.
This includes visiting a professional sex boutique 😉
Always keep the spark alive! Xx