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Inspiration, Lifestyle, Slider

What it’s really like raising three toddlers

January 17, 2017

I hear allot of questions and debate and even fear around whether or not to go for baby #3 while the other two are still so small. As a mom of a 6 year old, a 4 year old and a 3 year old, I agree that these moms have good reason for their uncertainty and their need to be completely sure before taking the giant leap of growing the family tree. And it’s our maternal instinct to always want to reassure these moms that everything is going to be just fine, even at those times when we are not sure of this ourselves.

I therefore also hear many moms urging these parents on to have another baby.  They claim the other two kids will have another ‘friend’ to play with and, my absolute favourite, they will have more kids around to look after them when they’re old and gray.  Maybe these are somewhat true, but they are certainly not the basis on which you should make your decision.

So, here are my ten proven facts of what life is really like with three little ones.

1. You know the phrase that goes something like this: ‘you gotta have hair on your teeth’? Well, with three toddlers this is definitely a requirement. You’ll want to murder them all.the.time! But you don’t, because even though they terrorise the living hell out of you (and each other!), they are the most precious beings to you and you would literally walk over molten lava for them.

2. Everything is a competition. Everything. Which is not a bad thing at all, however it does tend to push you to the edge when the one wants to sing louder than the other, or swim faster, have the last goodnight kiss, when all three compete to sit next to mom, hold mom’s hand in the mall or be the same movie character. Not to mention they all have their own taste in movies, which mean three movies all at once unless your negotiating skills are on point. Which it unfortunately as to be most times. It really is THAT crazy and the only thing keeping you sane is to remind yourself of your unconditional love for them ruckers. #woosah

3. Speaking of keeping sane. You HAVE to make time for just you and hubby at least once a month. This is non-negotiable. If grandma will allow you once a week or you can find a babysitter twice a month then all the better. Raising three toddlers is HARD work and like sponges, they suck every bit of energy from you. All three require individual, undivided attention all day, every day. You may think I’m exaggerating right now, but I’m only giving you the cold hard facts. What keeps me from completely losing my mind is a sunset walk on the beach after work, a Baxter theater show and the occasional Tuesday date night at HQ.

4. Then just when you think your life is about to become a whole lot more peaceful with the firstborn finally outgrowing the tantrums or terrible two’s, the other one starts the exact same sequence, followed by the next. I’m afraid, honey, it doesn’t get easier, you just become better at controlling the situation, your kids and yourself. Which is what makes us moms so fabulous.

5. Going on holiday is not so easy anymore. In my vain attempts to book family holidays, I noticed most places offer free flights and accommodation for two kids under 12. With three kids I still have to pay full price for the third child. Not exactly the end of the world, this only means our plans might be slightly delayed and we’ll have to save up a little longer.

6. School fees and study policies are always quadrupled. So when deciding on baby number 3, think of your career goals and which schools you would like your kids to attend. They may seem like minor details but has the potential to cause serious implications on not only your pocket but also your relationship with your spouse.

7. Everything comes in threes. Clothes, toys, life stages, I love yous – you name it. And bath-time takes forever!

8. Oh, and you’ll sadly have to say goodbye to your beloved 2 door sports car or the 5-seater family sedan for that matter. With you, hubby and three kids, all still in their baby seats, I recommend you find yourself a more reliable 7-seater fast! Although your family of 5 may still easily fit into the 5-seater, it, unfortunately, does not allow any other family members or friends to join in on the ride. Which we discovered is a big problem for us. So 7-seater it is. They are however costly, in value and petrol, so be sure to do your research carefully before deciding on baby number 3.

9. Three is such an uneven number. The buy-one-get-one-free concept means little to nothing to you when you have three little ones. On New year we bought tickets on daddy’s deals for bugs play park  – 2 tickets, including all kiddies rides, for the price of one ticket. Great deal, except we then ended up with one extra ticket we could not use. This is just one example of many, but you get my point. I’m almost tempted to say that having 4 kids instead of 3 may make more sense.

10. You have more kids than hands. Any mom would agree that having just one child is already physically and emotionally demanding. Having three, even more so. Sure your kids have each other to occupy. Until one pisses off the other and then it’s right back to mom and dad to clean up the mess.

I’m sorry I didn’t sugercoat more, but this is reality. MY reality right now. These facts are not meant to scare you, but to prepare you. It’s tough and it’s messy, but at the same time it’s also beautiful to see them grow up together, protective of one another, an unbelievable friendship and an unbreakable bond. Honestly, I wouldn’t change a thing if I could. The truth is you are never going to be ready. You simply have to ask yourself if you are ready to become a stronger version of you, a wiser one, a more tolerant one, grow a bigger heart.

Love,

Inspiration, Lifestyle, Slider

Okay South Africa. A mom’s take on RMF Protests.

February 17, 2016

Yes, we all hate what is currently happening at UCT. It sucks, it’s barbaric, it’s absolutely unnecessary violence and vandalism and all of the million other things we can think of or have been calling it and “them.” While paintings are being ripped off the university walls with years of sentiment being burnt to ashes and while our iconic building is being vandalised, we are all (black, white, Indian, coloured, Asian etc.) wondering where our beautiful country is headed and when it will ever stop.

 

But while the country is lashing out, I have silently observed one simple fact – these students are very clearly crying out for help – and like little kids, they are going about it the wrong way. However, what do we do when our little kids are crying out to us for whatever it is they need our help with? We obviously do not condone their tantrums, but we help them anyway.

 
It is time we realise that we are no longer innocent bystanders who gets to be offended by the “baboons” wreaking havoc on our beautiful country. We no longer get to point fingers and pretend how innocent we are in all of this, no matter how innocent we may be. We no longer get to pretend this is not our problem, because quite frankly, it is. Unless you are moving to Australia any time soon, it’s time we get our hands dirty and get to work rebuilding this nation.

 
These students are crying out for help the best way they know how and the more the rest of us tell them how barbaric they are, the louder and messier the tantrum becomes, it’s time we listen to the outcry South Africa. It’s time we teach what we have had the privilege to be taught.

 
You start arguments on the issue and you get offended when someone mentions race. “Because, come on! Who mentioned anything about race in this discussion?” Well, it may not be about race to you South Africa, but it’s all about race to them. Although unreasonable in this day and age, it has become a crutch.

 
Have you noticed, South Africa, that the only people trying to make some kind of sense of this abstract behaviour, are non-white? No, it’s not because of some personal vendetta against whites. Far from it. If you think about it, it’s simply because the only people who have truly lived through “the struggle” are non-white; and though we condone this destructive behaviour probably least of all, we maybe understand most of all why name calling and showing frustration on public platforms is not solving anything. It’s just further fueling this runaway fire.

 
Now, before you shoot me off as being biased or more commonly, racist, I am not pointing a finger at you, white South Africa, I am appealing to you. Maybe even on behalf of these very students trying to break down the barriers, but breaking down historic landmarks and buildings instead, because ‘asking for help’ is synonymous with failure. The truth is, we need you. But more than that, we need to stand together. Only then will true and lasting change come.

 
Imagine the incredible things we can accomplish if only we put our differences aside and focus on moving forward. Imagine what we can achieve as a rainbow nation if only we open our hearts and hear the helpless cries. Our leaders have forsaken us, but we can finish this war with victory.

 
No matter how hard our new democratic is trying to tear us apart, we need to take a stand together. Only then will our beautiful South Africa be the country we all so long for.

 
I am not talking from a political stance, I am writing this letter of appeal from a maternal point of view. We have all had mothers, still have mothers, have been mothers, want to be mothers or are mothers. I think it’s time we take these tantrum throwing kids under our wing and guide them in the right direction. What do you say South Africa?

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Image taken from 2oceansvibe.com

Ubuntu!